bright future.

days like today remind me of the bright future the Lord has planned for me. i went out on the lake with family & it was so relaxing.

a great quote for today: "When I understand that everything happening to me is to make me more Christlike, it solves a great deal of anxiety." - AW Tozer

to realize everything happening in my life is to make me more Christlike...

last night i got together with some dear friends. we were talking some about how each person's life does not have to include being a missionary overseas. life is a mission field whether you are a waitress, millionaire working in new york city, teacher, a personal trainer, etc. i am not a failure because i didn't serve full time with a campus ministry or become a missionary after graduation! i am God's Child & am being used in His own unique way to live out the plan He has for me!! AHHH! how rewarding is that!

it solves a great deal of anxiety...

i have learned so much in the past 6 months than i have in a LONG time. being put into the real world & having no idea what i am doing with my life, but yet kneeling before the Lord praying & knowing He has it all figured out & will take care of me has been a humbling experience. i feel like i am a changed person just from the time i graduated. so many things have changed my outlook on life & people & reactions & just.. everything. it is such a beautiful & rewarding experience that i have gone through in the past 2 months. & i am forever grateful to the Lord.

everyday i realize my life has only just begun.

in His Love--

am i giving You all i have?

i had a CD from years ago, i mean years. i didn't think i was old until i found out i had this CD from like middle school church camp. but, it's really great. & it has good content for now because it's based off of TRUTH. i love it. anyways, there is a song on there called "long way home" & it some lines of the lyrics really stood out to me & i have been pondering on them for the past couple days & probably will continue to. it's on a little sticky on my computer so every time i pull up my computer i look at this & really think on how i've reacted that day to this paragraph.

"what do i settle for my best, when you have so much more? i haven't seen, i haven't heard, what You have in store. but like the deer who longs for water, my soul longs after You, still there's so much i could do.. am i giving You all i have?"

so, the question lingers. are you giving Him all you have? or are you giving Him less because you think you have everything under control better than your Creator? this could go for many things in your life. think on the day. week. month. year. have you given Him all you have?

in His Love--

opportunity.

many, many things happenin' around here at the ol' apartment.

- my puppy moved to my parents house yesterday. i'm really sad about it. so, i'm not really going to elaborate much. & yes [if you're asking], i cried.

- moving right along, & speaking of moving, my roommate & i are moving into our new apartment in 9 days! :] i practically feel like i haven't actually moved to durham yet because i haven't really moved into the apartment that has my name on the lease. i'm just living in someone elses room really. that will be a happy day when we move! & then all the decorating ideas that i have in my head can begin to become a reality in my new space! && yes [if you're asking again], it will be organized! :] if any of you know me, you know this could be a stretch, but really. i'm going to have a cute space that will hopefully stay neat! :]

- last night i went to work at six & didn't get home til midnight! why you ask? well, the store i work at was being remodeled. therefore, they moved to a temporary space for about two months & we had to move our store back last night. i met a lot of new people & it went really great!

- i had today off! :] i slept in & it felt great. did some vacuuming & cleaned up my room a tad. going to do a little more organizing for the move tonight as well.

- friends are coming to visit me this weekend & i'm so excited! my dear friend molly is coming to see me & we are going to get frozen yogurt at this new cute place right up the street! another friend is going to be meeting me for lunch on friday [i have friday off as well!].

the major thing i am having a hard time with right now seems to be feeling worthy of having the job i have. i feel like i have no idea what i'm doing half the time & feel like i'm so behind. i received A LOT of information over the past week & it was a lot to take in, but i didn't want to suck at it. i can sometimes be a perfectionist & feel like i have to be great at everything & not let anyone down; however, i have to learn that i'm constantly going to fail, but i have to get right back up & try again. & it was very encouraging to hear from co-workers that i am very open-minded, eager to receive feedback, & always am open to trying things constantly. i will come around & start to feel more confident as the days roll by.

a quote that has me really spinning the wheels today:

"Out of clutter, find simplicity. From discord, find harmony. In the middle of difficulty, lies opportunity."

Happy Monday, everyone!

in His Love--

big sister.

wow. today was such a blessing! it was my day off so here is what i did:

since i am attending summit church while i am in the rdu area, i participated in serve rdu. it is an annual week-long event summit church does around the communities of the rdu area. so, so, great. i chose to participate in a project at a place called christian life home where girls between the ages of 12-23 are in the midst of unplanned pregnancies. they are given a place to live, food to eat, counseling, and much, much, more. it really is great. a house couple house 5-6 girls at a time. such sweet people. once we were there we began with a house tour. HUGE house! the house used to be owned by a professional football player. christian life home bought the house only having to pay the remaining amount on the home, which wasn't much. after the tour the team of volunteers divided up into groups to do different projects such as power washing, weeding, laying out mulch, & staining the deck. i chose to stain the deck. i have never stained before, but did i learn that it is a tedious task! but, i had so much fun doing it for 4 hours with other girls who were great. i went inside to get some water at one point & really wanted to meet the girls who were housed in the home, so i made a point to introduce myself & get their names as well. it was a pretty eventful day because one was having contractions 10 minutes apart! the girls attend church at the summit every week & do many other activities between their doctors appointments & such.

this is definitely not the last time i will visit the home. i am going to sign up to become a big sister to these girls. they need someone to just come & take them out of the house & really just talk about life & to have a mentor. i really want these girls to know they do not have to be defined by a decision they made in their past & the Lord FORGIVES them for this & show them the love of Christ through me. i have a heart for girls with pasts because i had one of my own that i don't like to mention, but i found the Lord through that & i am BLESSED because of that! PTL! excited to continue to serve & make relationships with these girls!

i also met up with my freshman roommate from college who just got engaged! :] so happy for her! she's so great & such an inspiration! i love her to death & wayy excited about her wedding next may! my roommate from summer project also got engaged in the past week [her [now] fiance was on summer project with me as well]. i'm so happy for that couple! they are just great! :] ready to purchase some dresses to wear to all of these exciting weddings for my sweet friends!

bad news, macy is going to be living with my parents for a while :( so sad. i am going to miss her a lot, but i know she will love it there because she will be able to run & do whatever she wants really. my parents spoil her :] haha so, if you don't hear a lot about macy for a while it's because she is living with them, sad day.

the Lord has been so great teaching me multiple things today. & i am thankful for that!

theme song right now: "Stronger" by Mandisa

click here to play

& sing it girL. :]

pride.

let go of your pride & do something you may not want to do. & get over it.

pride kills. Proverbs 16:18 says, "PRide goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall."

that.

is.

all.

big girL.

yay! first day of work = successfuL!

it was a great day. i learned so much & it's only the beginning. the program i am in is really like being in school. i already have homework! :] i am a manager in training; therefore, i am learning everything it takes to be an employee, run a store, & be a leader throughout all of this. a girl who is one year ahead of me has received the store she will be running & it made me even more excited about the results of this program that i am going through! i have really been praying about where the Lord is going to place me in a year from now just to prepare my heart for the city that i will be moving to when the day comes. but, that's all for now ladies&gents.

i'm becoming such a big girl now..it's so crazy.

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you & not to harm you, plans to give you hope & a future. Then you will call on me & come & pray to me, & I will listen to you. You will seek me & find me when you seek me with all your heart.'" Jeremiah 29:11-13

self-centered.

update on life: so, my job starts tomorrow! i am super stoked but also super nervous! ahhh! my life is about to be change a lot once again. we all need to get used to this whole change thing because it happens very often. we all need to keep that as a note to self. so if you don't deal well with change, get over it fast! anyways, all the people at work are so nice & laid back..so ready to start working there. i have a pretty loaded week this week. work starts tomorrow & on my day off i am serving with my church around durham. [woah, i literally almost wrote hickory...] i am really excited for the opportunity to serve. serving in a church after college is one of the things i looked forward to most when i graduated from college. i am so glad that i already have this opportunity to give to others. i will be going to a house where women are placed for unplanned pregnancies where they receive counseling & other needs for their changing life ahead of them. so excited about that! soon to come: posts of my new apartment [at the end of july or beginning of august] & some posts about food because i'm going to start cooking & baking some delicious things now that i have an income :]. & of course pictures will be involved :]

church this morning was based upon being self-centered in relationships. it doesn't necessarily have to deal with a relationship or a marriage but it also can be related to our friendships as well. i learned SO MUCH from this sermon. even though pastor JD made many references to husbands&wives, i still learned a lot. it makes you realize what you need in a christian marriage & just how broken most relationships are starting off because we have to love people NOT on our terms. it also makes you realize how many things you have been doing wrong all along & that was/has been really hard to deal with for me. however, we need to apply the gospel to our relationships. we are so undeserving&unworthy of ANY love from anyone. Jesus, SO WORTHY & SO DESERVING of love gave for OUR UNWORTHY SIN. a very good friend of mine told me recently something he learned while serving in China that we need to be in a place of insignificance so that we can see where we actually stand & how good we really ARE NOT. if we live knowing this & knowing we should serve our friend/significant other/spouse in the way Jesus did, we will find so much more joy out of the whole experience. ask the Lord to come through you & help you become less about yourself & more about Him & His Will for your life [which is only a vapor].

click here to go to the web page where you can download the sermon. [i know i have some married followers, one newly married ;)] it's really great & i can go back & look at some of my notes from this sermon when the time is right.

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit [useless glory for yourself]. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others." Philippians 2:3-4

in His Love--

ruth.

i have internet! saaweeettt!

as promised, i am going to unfold a few things i learned throughout my story of ruth. however, i am definitely not done studying this beautiful story. so, this may seem really thrown together, but i want this blog to portray what is on my heart & how i would talk to you about this story.

ruth was a woman who gave up everything she had [her family was very wealthy in the town of moab] to follow God [who she was still learning so much about from her mother-in-law, naomi] to the town of bethlehem. this was life-changing event for her. she gave up all of her possessions to serve the Lord hoping the Lord would provide for her in a place she had never been. she was definitely scared at times. but, she had FAITH in her God that He would watch over her & naomi & they would be safe. while in bethlehem, ruth continually strives to be obedient to her Father. she prayed for Him to watch over her & naomi. others saw the Lord in her & began to accept her [since she was a moabitess] because the Lord's love was overflowing from ruth. she had such a strong heart for the Lord, always curious. she trusted in the Lord & not what the odds looked like for her. she lived in a cave & was thankful! gosh, i need to be more thankful for some things in my life. again, she trusted in the Lord & not the earthly odds! in Romans 12 it says in verse 2: "Don't copy the behavior & customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what the Lord wants you to do, & you will know how good & pleasing & perfect His Will really is." i want to scream this to myself sometimes. like, right now too. LET GOD TRANSFORM YOU, LADIES.

& i end with a prayer for tonight..

CHANGE THE WAY I THINK, LORD. i want to live Your Will for my life. bring the Holy Spirit within me, let Your presence give me positive&negative discernment to do what You are calling me to. i lay before You, Lord, because i want to be transformed. i want the surrendering heart of ruth, Lord. humble me in this world & keep me away from satan's stronghold for my life. i am thankful for You & this life you have given me to carry out Your Will.

in His Love--

influence.

i love thunderstorms. i know i have already discussed this before, but it’s the fourth of july, & i thought that I would just say it again :]. anyways, this past weekend i went to a place i can call home, Charleston. i lived there last summer in a hotel & it was a great experience. sadly, i was overwhelmed with a few things during my trip. & the Lord taught me a lot during my trip & i want to share those with you all.

things happen in life & we don’t know why. & we want to know why, because we are human. i learned something from pastor mark [we’re on a first name basis ;], inside joke shout-out] in one of his sermons on Ruth [bee tee dub, i finished my story on Ruth & it was so great: more to come on ruth later this week] & it was this: "Something happens, why? Silence. The secret things belong to the Lord. We know everything we NEED to know. We by no means know everything we WANT to know. We must live by faith & we must trust God.” & i need to constantly be reminded of this. others could probably describe me as someone who asks “why?” as much as a 4 year old. i always want to know more because i want to feel like i’m in control. stop. hold the bus. don’t need to be in control. i have found that i am getting wayyy better at this than usual. in the past two months i have been trying to work on my controlling sense because before meeting Jesus, that was all i had to live on. my control on situations.

God gave a powerful gift to women. influence. but, how we portray that is where we can get ourselves in trouble. you can either be a positive influence or negatively manipulate. we are shown that the Lord gave us this by our earliest ancestors, Adam & Eve. Eve did not influence Adam, she manipulated him to think the serpent was telling them something better than their Creator. also, scripture lays a foundation that “highly respected women” can be cast down by satan. in Acts 13, we can see how women of “high esteem” are cast astray by persecuting Paul. i want to be a subject of influence, not manipulation. i want to teach others & encourage other women to our Father. i desire to be more like Him every day. we should all want to not control & manipulate situations to be what we want them to be. we must trust in the Lord that He is doing everything we need for our good. so we must drop our control & manipulation to be a power of influence to teach & nurture others. because with the Lord flowing out of us, others will see the Lord in us, & immediately be drawn to the HOPE & FAITH we live off of.

by the time i got home, i was exhausted. mentally, emotionally, & spiritually exhausted. today i really took time to rejuvenate myself. even though i did not get to see fireworks [because it's also still raining], i spent time really digging into the Word & that is way more satisfying than fireworks! & as i was digging through scripture & watching sermons, & doing my fruit of the Spirit study, i really tried to cling to Galatians 6:9-10, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.” even though i was completely run down by a few things & completely overwhelmed with a million & one things, it was really great to just read this over & over. DO NOT GIVE UP. Because as Isaiah 40:31 says, “They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run & not be weary; and they shall walk, & not be faint.” we must wait for the proper time from the Lord. if things are not going the way we WANT them, we must move on. life is not easy. & it won’t ever be. & we have to take all the trials & trust in the Lord. we have everything we NEED to bear whatever it is that comes our way.

“Slow me down, Lord, save this life & keep my eyes on You. Satan can have this rat race world—Thank God, I’m just passin’ through.”

in His Love--