holy long time.

holy long time since i have posted. wowzers.

extremelyyy sorry for that. there is no excuse.

i have had a lot on my mind. a lot to think about. & a lot to pray about.

i am still reading lineage of grace. i am almost finished with Ruth's story. it's so beautiful. i will definitely have a post coming up in the coming days about that. i have some exciting things happening. i am going to go visit a city that really holds part of my heart. i fell in love with charleston a little over a year ago. i have such a heart for the people that live there & it's just a beautiful place where i met so many great friends.

last year around this time i was going through a deep stage of depression. it was one of the worst things ever & i didn't understand why God placed that upon my life especially while i was on summer project. i didn't get the full experience because i was so closed off. however, God's timing is the right timing. & He taught me so much through that. i am still learning every day from that experience. but, what i want to work on now is to regain those friendships & keep up with those friends i made on summer project & really reach out to them. i really want to get better about keeping up with people. & if you are someone who feels like i have not spent time investing into a relationship with you & feel like you are not significant in my life, YOU ARE. i am trying to get better at keeping up to date with people. it's going to be a process & i am going to work on it piece by piece. so, bear with me :]

in His Love--

fear.

another sunday in a new city calls for another adventure to another church. this time i was alone & nervous when i walked in the [what seemed] GIGANTIC church. holy mess. i was getting lost in the sea of chairs of where to sit. i forgot my glasses, [dork] so i preceded to head to the front of the [again] GIGANTIC room [:)]. sitting alone, i read one of my favorite Psalms, Psalm 27, to really get in tune for the reason i was there. it was great. really a place where i would like to get plugged in. there's so many great things happening at this church that i am deeply thrilled about. it's a church that truly pushes the Gospel. & that is what i got ladies & gents.

the message was incredible. i was completely convicted&forgiven on the spot. the series is called homewreckers & it is talking about the things that can really put a barrier between relationships. however, it totally goes for single people too, because boyyy did i get a lesson. guess what it was on? how ironic: FEAR. women run loose with their imaginations. every single woman does it. so, if you are a woman & you say you don't, you do. in some way, you do. we can be upset about something we make up in our minds. & that is SO TRUE. we "fear" things because we are not connected with the perfect love of God. 1 John 4:18 says, "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love." fearing/worrying is a sin because we are separating ourselves from God out of fear because we are not trusting Him with our "stuff." we fear that we aren't good enough, pretty enough, we won't get a job, we won't be smart enough, etc. once we stop fearing the WRONG things & start fearing the RIGHT thing, that is when all the WRONG things we fear about will go away. we should fear the Lord because he holds all of those things in our future that we are so worried about & trying to control out the window. we are scared so we try to control our lives to try to pass by that fear. & it ends up happening over&over because we are trying to control what only GOD CAN CONTROL. fear not is listed in the Bible 366 times. 366 TIMES. & still we bask in fear of what may happen. the Lord will be there with us when any trial comes our way. so, stop making things trials out of fear when they are actually blessings.

find yourself fearing the Lord. it is funny that i was reading Psalm 27 before the service because i come back to this same Psalm & read it differently than before hearing this sermon. the very first verse of Psalm 27: "The Lord is my light & my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; whom shall I be afraid?"

because what can man do to you?

but, if i died without Jesus, i am nothing.

in His Love--

JOB!

hello sweet readers!

GREAT NEWS! :] i have a job! thank you for all of your prayers!

it has definitely been a patiently awaiting process to find out that i have a job. it's the one i definitely wanted because it just has so much potential for my future. i am so excited! & i have planned some great things in between with friends i can catch up with. so exciting!

my patience has been tested in so many ways lately. sometimes i get to a breaking point where i just lose my built up frustration for a couple minutes. but, it is definitely a process! & that is another thing the Lord is teaching me is that things do not change overnight. processes take time & i have to be patient. & wait for that which the Lord wants for me.

a verse that is really sticking out to me right now is Exodus 14:14, "The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." & it is just really bringing me fulfillment right now because the Lord will fight for me! He will give me what i need in life. trials, temptations, & obstacles are meant to be there for a reason for me to grow. & i am seeking my JOY in the LORD because he LOVES ME. so, i am being still in Him. because everything will work out for my good in the end. Praise Him.

remember readers. the Lord will fight for you. be still before Him, confess your sins & concerns, & ask Him to fill you with the Spirit, every single day. :]

in His Love--

unveiled&unashamed.

yesterday afternoon i stopped by the library [i know, some of you are saying GEEEKKKK] & picked up "a lineage of grace" by francine rivers. I LOVE THIS BOOK. i just can't put this book down. there are so many great things about this book. i can relate to the two stories i have read so far which are titled "unveiled" & another, "unashamed." it takes stories of 5 women God chooses "to change eternity."

unveiled is about a woman in the Bible by the name tamar. she is a woman who goes through abuse & is used to then try to find justice on her own. unashamed is about a woman by the name of rahab "with a past whom God gave a future." these two stories can relate to the story of my life before truly finding the Lord & seeking Him for who He is. while learning history of the genealogy of Christ, i have also been reminded throughout the two stories to be still, & wait upon the Lord. & we all know how hard it is to be patient. but, i have been consumed by the love of the Lord & he has given me hope. i have also [by being able to relate some of my own life to these women's stories] learned that the Lord can use trials in our life & situations in our life to really use us. i'm not disregarded because i didn't grow up in church. i won't go by the wayside because my past isn't a clean slate. the Lord renews me. & i am loved for the restoration the Lord has given me by those who follow the Lord because they do not see me as that person. i had a friend tell me last year, "this old amy everyone keeps talking about, i don't see that. i don't even put that into perspective with you when i'm talking to you or talking about you. i see the new amy that the Lord has renewed&restored."

something that i love about this book is that i can relate it to things i am learning right now in my life too! in one of my previous posts, i attended a church which had a segment on it's "man up" series. quick recap, it's talking to the men on how christian men should be living their lives, to that of the image of Christ. but, in today's society, we seem to have the image of Christ a little backwards. so, the series is teaching men the correct image of Christ & how to apply it to their lives. this past week we talked about how men will fight for something bigger than themselves. with the love of God in them, men will stand up for what they need to do. for example, in the book i'm reading, salmon "is still & waits for His Lord" even though it may be hard for him. & his mission when the walls of jericho come down: to protect the harlot, rahab. he is fighting for her because the Lord knew she needed to be saved from death because His name was written on her heart. salmon fought for his Lord first & foremost by fighting for rahab's safety because he loved her as the Lord loved her. looking past her sin-filled past right when he saw her..it's just great. but anyways, going back to what i was saying [hah, whew..that's just a part of me; i go on&on to get somewhere! :)] salmon is a great representation of what i learned on sunday. great stuff! :]

i can't wait to dive into the next 3 stories about ruth, bathsheba, & mary.

if you love to read, pick this up. it's a honker, like 550 pages in all, but it's completely worth every page. & more.

"You are high & lifted up, & ALL THE WORLD WILL PRAISE YOUR GREAT NAME!!"

treasured.

came home for a couple days, praying the Lord will bless me with this job i just interviewed for the second time yesterday. it's really the job i want because i feel like it has the most opportunity for me for the future. also, it's a great way to make relationships with people. just all around a great place&fit for me. anyways, while macy is getting her "puppy bath" at petsmart [i feel like i am ALWAYS there, & i spend so much money on her; i guess i know what it's like to spoil], i browsed around barnes&noble to get some ideas for some upcoming books to read [so excited to go to the library this afternoon & get a book by francine rivers [known for "Redeeming Love"]. after browsing i tried to find a cozy place to make my nest for a few hours to find nowhere to sit. so, i came right up the road to starbucks where i found a corner [not quite cozy] to "set up shop."

i have finished week 1 of my personal homework for the week in my fruit of the Spirit study only to be placed on my knees to the Lord in thankfulness&joy of the grace He has given me. He has changed me into a new creation, but i still have my own individuality. i am still ME. i will always be ME. & i have grown to love ME. i love to make people laugh, have fun, & just be carefree & live life. however i do know that sometimes i get caught up & do stupid things. however, he convicts me of that & offers me restoration from my sin. & has given me a favor without expecting anything in return. How Beautiful.

i learn new things every day & that is what is so great about being a believer. we learn new things every day by soaking ourselves in the Word. some believers may have a better way of saying it [better vocabulary, verbiage, etc], but the Lord accepts all of us equally. just as Galatians 3:28 says, "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male & female, for you are ALL ONE IN CHRIST JESUS." i believe we all get ourselves tripped up in that way. we pride ourselves as better than another. we are all ONE in Christ. i have many times though of myself as lower than other Christians, that other Christians were more knowledgeable than i could ever be. & that is where this verse in Galatians really helps me.

even though i may feel lower on the totem pole than others the Lord loves us all the same. i am treasured in the eyes of the Lord. He loves me for being me. & others love me for being me. so, i'm going to let it shine.

song lyrics are a really great way of expressive art from others. & i absolutely love to hear how others are feeling in their lyrics & how it can really relate to others. Sanctus Real has a song "Forgiven" that i heard the other day on the radio & i have been pondering on the lyrics because i have been having thoughts of who i used to be & how the Lord has freed me from that. but, these lyrics really spoke to me:

"In this life, I know what I've been, but, here in your arms, I know what I am...When I don't measure up to much in this life, oh, I'm a treasure in the arms of Christ."

i am His treasured child.

fighting.

have i ever mentioned that i love thunderstorms? while one is going on outside my bedroom window, i have the lights completely off, my window blinds open [to see the flashes of lightning], my new glasses on [which i absolutely love! they make the beauty of this world so much clearer!], & pondering of a few things i need to get done as the night withers away. blogging was the first thing on my to-do list. :]

today was the first Sunday-funday in a new city. so, what does that mean?! my first stop on my church shopping list! :] i chose to go to new hope which is where my roommate attends. i haven't been in a couple years. the last i remember attending, i wasn't even walking with Jesus. my sister was down for the weekend so she joined us as well. we were running a little behind [don't all women?!] so we got there in time to sing a song for the beginning worship then dove into the message. a new series going on here is called "man up." the message for the man up series is dedicated to the men in the congregation; however, women are needed for constant encouragement, support, & belief that these christian men are capable of learning the true representation of a Christ-like man. even though the women were told to take a back seat because we definitely do not make good men [DEFINITELY!], i also learned something. Christian men fight for a cause bigger than themselves. whatever that cause may be, it could be their wife, kids, home, etc. a man will fight for it. but, he is fighting for this with the strength&will of God within him. the reason fighting was such a huge issue today was because it is said in the Bible that Jesus was a warrior. He fought for that which was a cause willing to die for! His God & the freedom from the bondage of sin for us.

His Love for my freedom.

"Oh, How He Loves Us."

worst critic.

all of us deal with insecurities. but, who really looks at some of the small nit-picky things we look at? i have found that i am my own worst critic. i don't give myself enough credit & take everything to heart. i also know, i'm not the only one that does this. many women, girls, & actually guys too deal with this every day. when are we going to stop & really find out who we are in the eyes of the King? we have to remind ourselves constantly what the Lord finds in us makes us beautiful and we will be that way until we live through the Spirit to know that WE ARE WORTHY. nothing on EARTH will make us feel worthy. no piece of clothing, no fancy job, no significant other, no event [nope, not even your birthday even if it is birthday month..] etc. why are we our own worst critic? because we are seeking approval of others. we want someone to see what's going on with us. selfish? yes. stupid? yes. because we are "seeking approval of man" as Galatians will tell us. we become slaves to those who we are seeking approval from. yes. you are a slave to the person you are trying to impress. you are conforming yourself to what you believe that person wants to see you as. impressive? not at all. we should only want to please our God. question your motive when seeking the Lord? are you doing it because everyone else you know is doing it? or do you truly have the passion for Christ in your heart?

on another note..

i have been reliving some of the shame of my past, and I have been breaking myself down from it. but I am continuously reminded through scripture that i am saved by grace. Romans 8:29 says, "For those God foreknew he also predestined." God knew the mistakes i was going to make. God knew i was going to mess up. because from birth the Lord predestined me to be His child. THANK YOU JESUS FOR SAVING ME! He knew i was going to wander. He knew i was going to make mistakes. we all make mistakes. NO christian is better than another. NONE. because any of us can fall to any sin, because we all sin. every day.

please God today on the basis to only please Him. not to please others. be filled with His love&grace that He will pave the way for you. no need to worry. He is with you, always.

growing up.

when i was in college, growing up & getting out of school had so many cool aspects to me. well, i might have felt like breaking down about 4 times in the past 18 hours & i don't even have a job yet! but, i'm reminded all of the times that i want to break down [& other times as well] that I CAN DO THIS because the Lord is giving me strength. He is definitely testing all of my weak spots, that's for sure! but, He is showing me so much during this time. He is testing my patience [A LOT!] & a few other things i don't really want to go into right now. but, i am being stretched that's for sure. even though i am stretched & broken down sometimes, i've really sought out Acts 14:22 & know that the Lord is watchful of me & protecting me from my insecurities but teaching me so much through these said hardships.

last night my roommate & i had a cool conversation getting to know some neighbors of ours [isn't everyone your neighbor in an apartment?! anyways...] & we started chatting simply because of my puppy. macy made it through her first night in the new place. i think she likes it. just a lot of getting used to. anyways..back to the story--we got to know these new people. they have just moved from conn. & we just chatted away for like 30-45 minutes. & as i was sitting there i really wanted to bring the Lord into conversation & so i threw in a little tid bit here&there. the couple & i have planned to have play dates with our pups [one of theirs lost a leg due to cancer in november, but is getting along just great!] & they are going to give macy some toys which i thought was really sweet since they don't know me at all. they seemed like really sweet, northern people :]. even though they are a bit older than rachel & i, at least we have some people we know we can count on in the complex. i can't wait to meet more people in the area to just really try to create some community & really get some great relationships formed. "Life is a mission field.." is something i saw on twitter from a person i follow, & i'm seeing that so much every day now.

i have been doing a study on the fruit of the Spirit & it's so great. there's so much detail to Beth Moore's studies that just really inspires me. & every day i find myself opening this study up to new depths & finding something that goes for that day. a lot of people try to skew messages to act like EVERY SINGLE THING THEY HEAR IS A SIGN OF SOMETHING THEY NEED IN THEIR LIVES. i used to be one of those people. or if it's something we want to happen in our lives, we want to say the Lord is saying we need to do certain things to make that certain thing happen in our life. no. we are desperately seeking worldly things by doing that. our mind plays dirty tricks on us because we have "powerful, masquerading, misery-makers living inside us." & that is ourselves. we are so focused on the SELFISH desires of our heart that we are not focused on what the Lord wants for us. i am reminded of this like every 5 minutes. i can't even summarize the amazingness i am learning from this study. it is so relevant. one of my friends is actually going to join me in this study & i'm ecstatic about it!

so, i leave you with this: "Through the power of the Holy Spirit, I can .. Do things I couldn't, Feel things I didn't, & know things I wouldn't."

p to the s.

also, while i was at the wedding in arkansas they played this song. i just thought it was a great dancing song & i had never heard it! so, i wanted to share it with everyone so you could maybe do a little jig before you go to work one day, or every day :] the chorus is my fave part! & when i actually looked up the video it was rather strange, but funny! [especially the ninja turtle shell the dude has!!]

[click link below to go to the song!]

enjoyyyy

new beginnings.

hola readers. as i sit on my new couch at my new apartment [which is only temporary until i move into my REAL new apartment at the end of july, i know, way confusing] i am so excited to blog. i am having a BLAST decorating for my room, however, i need money before i can do anything else. hah! so, i will bask in the awesomeness of the little trinkets i have found here&there until i can have a final product [which i will then probably keep building upon] & the sweet zebra print shower curtain i got! :] ahhh! it's a fave. my dog is not with me right now :( but, she will be soon! really excited about that. even though i should be unpacking some things because my mother is coming tomorrow, blogging & spending some time with the Lord is way more important & so THAT is what i am going to do!

so, all that to say, i'm really sorry that i haven't posted lately. it's not because i didn't want to. it's simply because i was not really around a computer with time to blog. i just recently went to my best friends wedding out in arkansas. it was so simple & quaint, but BLAZING HOT. but, she was happy & that's all that matters! driving was great. even though it took 28 hours round trip it was still completely worth it. there is so much natural beauty that we take for granted & it was a great time to just think. sometimes that gets me in trouble though! & the past 2 weddings i have been to have been great. it's so great to see how the Lord molds relationships & how stories of relationships can be so unique & lovely.

however, i think i have decided what studies i will be doing. i am going to do both the 1 John study & the Fruit of the Spirit study. the Lord has been so evident in my life these past few months in many different ways that maybe i didn't see when i was actually living those days out. the Lord has also been gracious in that He accepts me even though i may have struggled to see that then & even though i have many flaws [which i'm completely okay with that because the Lord is showing me that i'm beautiful because of His LOVE for me]. i know i will never be perfect, however, i will strive to be like Jesus every day & love others as Jesus loves us. i think that is why i am so excited about all of these new beginnings. the fact that our life constantly changes & we have to be ready to roll with the punches every day, but the Lord is by our side every step of the way. i can't wait to start a job [which the job search is going well, should have one by next week!] & really pour God's love out into the lives of my co-workers & customers.

so, here i go. about to do the intro to my study. i'm ready to completely live beyond myself & live fully for Christ. & i know this study is gonna rockkkk. so, thanks Jesus for making all these things possible in my life. i'm ready for you to continue to take the reigns of my life, & only you know where i'll end up here.

for i know, i'm coming home soon.

blurb.

a lot has been on the mind lately. i believe the Lord is really trying to teach me what it means to trust in Him & not have things in my own hands. even though i have been working on this, you can never be perfect at something, ever. therefore, i am continuously learning every day.

i love blogging. it's so great. now that i have time to really dive in to this blog, i am always looking to see what i can add here. i may begin to add some things that become of an interest to me as well as my Bible based posts. i'm really praying about what the Lord wants me to study this summer. i'm deciding between a 1 John study i began last summer when i was depressed & a Beth Moore study [that i may end up doing with my mom&sis, which would be FAB] on the Fruits of the Spirit. who knows. really trying to see what the Lord wants me to focus on right now.

i'm getting ready to go on a trip to arkansas [driving..14 hours there & back] for my friends wedding [2nd wedding of the 7 i have planned this year, so far that is]! it's a lot of time to spend with the Lord [& play words with friends! :)] & just look at the beauty around me as i drive [or ride, because my mother is going with me as well] through the states. so, i'm really excited about this trip [not to mention i get to see fr-amily (what i call friends that are like family) & friends that i met through visits over the years]! however, i do have tons of things to do such as pack, clean the car, make sure macy has all the things she needs before i leave, [she won't be going with us :(] & many other things.

so, right now i'm gonna sca-dattle, but i want to leave you with some scripture i have been reading. in earlier posts, you will see i was challenged to read Malachi by the pastor of the journey church. in reading Malachi, i came across the following scripture in chapter 4 verse 2, "But for you who revere my name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its rays." [revere means to have high respect or admiration] This scripture just exemplifies how our Father is a Powerful Healer. He heals our wounds & insecurities. He gives us hope.