so many times i have begun a blog post & not posted it or simply deleted it. don't ask me why because i cannot give you an answer.
so many things have been on my mind & have happened since i last posted. to make a long story short, i have quit my job, moved back home, & have two jobs. this life isn't the one i planned for myself when i graduated from college, but isn't that what happens when you make a plan for yourself? God shows you just how out of control you are with your life! just when i thought i knew exactly what i wanted to do with my life, i had NO idea. i mean NO idea. i am really slowing down to realize what the Lord wants for my life. i am taking a breather to figure out what it really is that He wants from me. do i know how i am going to figure that out? no, but i think trying to jump into things myself isn't helping. i love my jobs & the people i work with. it's fun & they are so compassionate & willing to work with me around the fact that i have two jobs.
it's been a crazy transition from college to the working world, but i have realized that we all have to move on & i have to move on sooner than my younger friends, obviously! haha so, i will simply just visit them & remember the great memories i had. i'm meeting new people & really having a great time with life. i learn new things about myself & about life every day. i began to volunteer at a local church & joined a small group which is really great. the pastor of the church is actually my small group leader & we are diving into Luke as we go into the Christmas season. we have challenged ourselves to really dive into the Word more. we thought Luke would be a great place to start because it's the reason for the season :]
i want to challenge myself to read the Word more. i'm definitely not in the Word enough. i want to challenge myself to pray more. sometimes i rely too much on my ADD thoughts of when i remember certain things to stop & pray, however, i really want to stop & have a certain time of prayer during the day like right when i wake up or a certain time where i am simply praying about all of those things. i am being challenged right now to have a servants heart in EVERYTHING that i do. all the times i am frustrated because i don't have a job that gives me the schedule i necessarily want or whatever it is i WANT, i need to remember, i am doing the Lord's work, not what i WANT. however, i know the Lord will show me His passion for my life & it will be my passion as well. [[something i have learned from reading --> Holiness means wholeness which comes from the root word 'hale' meaning hearty, healthy, & fulfilled.]] Therefore, my life will be filled with holy work for the world which will leave me fulfilled whether i feel like it is my desire at the time or not. i choose NOT to make up my mind of what happiness will be for my life.
sometimes i get so frustrated at how i think WAY TOO MUCH. i feel like my mind is on 24/7 about EVERYTHING. & it can be so exhausting. i want my mind to just lay in the peace Jesus gives me. i have to continually remind myself that i need to back off & let God reign.
i have been struggling with the shame at the fact i don't have a 'great' job where i'm using my degree & doing what i necessarily "want" to do. but, i am SO humbled by the fact that the Lord delivers grace to me every day for that. i am so THANKFUL that he is delivering me from that & showing me so many great things about the jobs i do have. i love my jobs & i wouldn't take anything for them or the people that i am meeting. however, i'm having a hard time believing that people can't find jobs out there because maybe you don't have the job you "want" but you can find a job! i have people coming to me to try to give me a job now!
right now i work at chick-fil-a full time & bath & body works seasonally maybe becoming a part time job after the Christmas is over. if not, then possibly getting another job with another company. chick-fil-a really makes my day, i have the most hilarious experiences & conversations with people & get to play with babies, and clean tables & refill drinks, but that's besides the point! just kidding! however, i'm more than excited to move behind the counter next week. experiences i've had have gone from bad & embarassing like calling a lady a 'sir' [[oops!]] to hilarious like a man asking if i'm getting a rock for Christmas [[H NO.]] to flattering saying i am beautiful & so sweet to a little weird to where customers only will let me refill their drinks [[& even tell the others working the dining room they are waiting on me to come back around to get what they need]]. bath & body has been a lot of fun too! i get a 30% discount at VS too! :]] that makes me uber happy!
so, some ask why i am getting all of these jobs. well, i want to save money to go back to school. so why not work my butt off now & get some money saved so when i know what i want to do i don't have to work really hard to pay for it & really make good grades & focus on what i need to focus on?
well, that's all that's on my mind right now. i'm sure there is a lot more that i have left out. but, you can read that another day :] thanks lovely followers. i'm blessed that you read this. [[i was going to do a little game & put a crazy word in the middle of my post & have my followers text it to me to see who reads hah!]]
In His Love--
