growing up.

when i was in college, growing up & getting out of school had so many cool aspects to me. well, i might have felt like breaking down about 4 times in the past 18 hours & i don't even have a job yet! but, i'm reminded all of the times that i want to break down [& other times as well] that I CAN DO THIS because the Lord is giving me strength. He is definitely testing all of my weak spots, that's for sure! but, He is showing me so much during this time. He is testing my patience [A LOT!] & a few other things i don't really want to go into right now. but, i am being stretched that's for sure. even though i am stretched & broken down sometimes, i've really sought out Acts 14:22 & know that the Lord is watchful of me & protecting me from my insecurities but teaching me so much through these said hardships.

last night my roommate & i had a cool conversation getting to know some neighbors of ours [isn't everyone your neighbor in an apartment?! anyways...] & we started chatting simply because of my puppy. macy made it through her first night in the new place. i think she likes it. just a lot of getting used to. anyways..back to the story--we got to know these new people. they have just moved from conn. & we just chatted away for like 30-45 minutes. & as i was sitting there i really wanted to bring the Lord into conversation & so i threw in a little tid bit here&there. the couple & i have planned to have play dates with our pups [one of theirs lost a leg due to cancer in november, but is getting along just great!] & they are going to give macy some toys which i thought was really sweet since they don't know me at all. they seemed like really sweet, northern people :]. even though they are a bit older than rachel & i, at least we have some people we know we can count on in the complex. i can't wait to meet more people in the area to just really try to create some community & really get some great relationships formed. "Life is a mission field.." is something i saw on twitter from a person i follow, & i'm seeing that so much every day now.

i have been doing a study on the fruit of the Spirit & it's so great. there's so much detail to Beth Moore's studies that just really inspires me. & every day i find myself opening this study up to new depths & finding something that goes for that day. a lot of people try to skew messages to act like EVERY SINGLE THING THEY HEAR IS A SIGN OF SOMETHING THEY NEED IN THEIR LIVES. i used to be one of those people. or if it's something we want to happen in our lives, we want to say the Lord is saying we need to do certain things to make that certain thing happen in our life. no. we are desperately seeking worldly things by doing that. our mind plays dirty tricks on us because we have "powerful, masquerading, misery-makers living inside us." & that is ourselves. we are so focused on the SELFISH desires of our heart that we are not focused on what the Lord wants for us. i am reminded of this like every 5 minutes. i can't even summarize the amazingness i am learning from this study. it is so relevant. one of my friends is actually going to join me in this study & i'm ecstatic about it!

so, i leave you with this: "Through the power of the Holy Spirit, I can .. Do things I couldn't, Feel things I didn't, & know things I wouldn't."