wowzerrrrs. i'm so pumped about this blog post. lots of great things going through the brain. our message at church today was great. really spoke to my heart. worship was amazing; new song called abandon really sunk deep into multiple areas of my life. connection group time afterwards where i'm learning with a group of college students about biblical relationships. it was great. i'm really excited about it. & some people think i'm going because my ex-boyfriend is in there. not the case. glad we can both be ingrained in this type of great study tho. proud of us for taking that step [separately] for our own personal lives. however, the reason i am in this study is because when i was a non-believer [which was most of my life] i have always had the wrong concept of what a relationship is, what it's built upon, what's important, etc. i have learned things throughout my life that are good for relationships, but i have also had the wrong concept of how a relationship should actually be based upon the Bible. once becoming a believer, i knew you should seek one who has a relationship with the Lord, but i didn't change my way of thinking or the way i acted in my relationship. well, i take that back. i did some. maybe like 25%. but, 75% of me was not doing that of what a woman should do such as being submissive, obedient to authority, a fearful woman of God, etc. sometimes i may have been submissive, but sometimes not. sometimes i would be obedient to authority, but sometimes not... etc. & i know i am not perfect & i won't do it all the time. but, sometimes i just didn't want to because i wanted what I WANTED. i didn't want to listen to all that other mess. i can tell there are great things that are going to come out of this study because it makes you build your character into being that strong, respectful woman i've always wanted to be.
i had lunch with a great friend, disciple, sister today. she's truly great. completely uplifting & has really helped me see how valuable i am through Christ. & it's just like it hit me today [also because of the message today] how the things around me shouldn't keep me down. things that have happened up to this point have been telling me over & over & over & over &.. [okay, you get the point] that i am found beautiful & wonderful & appreciated through Christ. today it was just actually verbalized to me in the message at church that i am valuable because of Christ. & i've been saying it to you! on this blog! but, i've never felt it. i haven't truly grasped it. & i probably will still fall sometimes & have those negative feelings. but, then turning to God should only uplift me to the TRUTH.
throughout this past summer i went through a deep stage of depression. the Lord never left my side. he put strong, Christian people by my side when i needed them most when i needed that tangible person to save me from complete & utter lies. i cried the most i think i ever have in that period of time, but i think i've cried almost just as much because i'm so grateful for my SAVIOR for never leaving me from that place. he taught me so much in that place. & he is still building upon that, just as you see in the past 2 paragraphs where i'm spilling my heart out to you. i believe you can learn a lot from trials & tribulations in your life. i know i have learned a ton through the depression process & things that i am still discovering every day about my identity through Christ. i'm getting my personality back & i feel that; but, the devil is trying to completely take that away from me by bringing me down with negativity. & i'm not havin' that! can't. because i know the Lord is reaching out to me.
more to come today on Psalms.
peace geese :]
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